


just a bunch of fics

by mimid



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: 19th Century, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Blasphemy, Boots N Bombs Week 2019, Crossfaction, M/M, Marriage, Triton!Soldier, Trust, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-28 13:23:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17788202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimid/pseuds/mimid
Summary: 7 Days and 7 prompts for a Explosive duo. 7 disastrous fics for an explosive pairing.Coincidentally the first and longest fic has 7k so feel free to skip it. I quite don't follow the rules neither (sorry), and after months from this I think that only 1, 2, 5, and 6 are worth reading.Additional warnings in a few fics notes.





	1. Myth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> XIX century. Tavish is a sailor established in some isolated place of the Northeast coast, working with a pair of weirdos. Safe, but feeling uneasy about being there and wanting to come back to Scotland, he first has do the impossible: to capture a mermaid (or a merman). 
> 
> Someone loses his eye in other way, everyone gets hurt in one way or another. Someone is more older and wise (maybe slight OOC). Science Party cameo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, **slavery and slavery trade** are heavily _implied_ here as historic background. There is no racial slurs or nothing like that.
> 
> Other than that, this one is too long (7-fucking-K) and I'm so tired. It also has way too much dialogue. The others fics are shorter. And _oh_ , this one has one ocassion of animal death.
> 
> Minor fixes done.

Tavish couldn't believe what he was doing.

“Where are you taking me?” asked the merman in his arms with a hesitant smile.

He looked like a chest naked stocky man with poorly cut short beard and hair, with gills in his neck. Downwards, his other half was a beautiful blue metallic color from behind and was white head-on. Aside from that, he was even heavier than he seemed.

“I... I’m taking you to see some of my friends.” _Fuck._ He shouldn’t have said that.

The creature immediately twitched his face in ire and pushed Tavish in a violent manner, making the scot lost in the United States to drop him to the sand, just as he wanted.

“I KNEW I should not have trust you!” exclaimed, dragging himself with his arms back to the sea, “You think I do not know them?!” continued, whispering curses in a language that humanity has never know.

“Wait! I was kiddin’!” He had no money, he spent most of his time all by himself in the sea when his “friends” went to the nearest city—it wasn’t like he could wander for the United States without putting himself in trouble neither—, a developing alcoholism to satiate his sorrows, and an intense desire to go back to his homeland, for an exit ticket to leave and never come back.

“WAIT!” Tavish barked. “Come back here!”

Desperate, he had no sense of self-care left. Tavish ran into the ocean for his exit ticket, to catch him by the tail. It felt like he had grasped sandpaper against the skin of his palms.

The merman growled. With a damned speed turned back and grabbed Tavish by his arm before he couldn’t do anything to avoid him. The half man pulled the human to the water, who screamed just realizing his mistake: he is a dead man.

Or that was he thought.

He was not sure what happened. Tavish’s only memories of the accident was himself trying to escape from his attacker while he was drooling, and in next memory he was crawling himself back to the seashore, not in one piece. His left eye was no more in his face.

 

* * *

 

The first time Tavish saw the merman he didn’t realized the creature was one for the first few seconds.

He saw a man with long braided beard near his nets. Tavish asked him if he needed help, to what the weird man just grinned and returned to the sea. His nets in other hand, were shattered, and the fishes were gone.

From there he knew that the men for those he worked weren’t crazy anymore, that the thing that attacked them in Europe was real, if was the same. The german was right, merman was going to travel to the new world.

Tavish also began to recognize that he was going to literally fish a man, until that moment he imagined looking more as like an animal.

Deep down he wished never seeing the merman again.

 

* * *

 

Tavish was watching two idiots from the shore when it was getting dark. It was obvious they barely knew how to use a rowboat, and in a blink of an eye both were in the water asking for help.

He quickly borrowed a whaleboat from the whaleship he worked to rescue them. When he arrived, aside from the castaways, he saw the boat split in two.

 

* * *

 

Their second encounter was more, wild, to said in a way.

Tavish was doing normal sailor things, when the merman jumped right in his boat. Before Tavish could have even processed what happened and how his prize seemed to had sacrificed himself, a second unthinkable incident happened.

A killer whale passed next to his tiny sailboat, almost sending Tavish to the floor with the waves.

“YOU WILL NOT HAVE ME!” yelled the merman with a hoarsely voice, apparently at the whale. Then, he crawled himself with his arms like a snake.

Tavish yelled in vain to the merman, who stoled one of his harpoons from Tavish’s hands like it was nothing.

The half-fish man gave a battle cry and jumped to the sea.

The scottish thought that there was no way he could win against a motherfucking killer whale. Whatever was happening he couldn’t see it from above the water, and he waited to see the winner: probably the killer whale.

He didn’t saw neither of the animals anymore that day. Tavish thought that the idiot of the fish man got killed and therefore ruined him too. Also thought that he was not able to kill the fish man himself when the opportunity presented himself.

 

* * *

 

“Thank you. If vasn’t for you both of us would be dead.”

“Nah, we were quite close to the—”

The german interrupted the american with a deliberated elbow hitting the second ribs. The american huffed and gave a stare to the german.

“Ve vill be eternally zhankfull.”

“Both of ye seeing too collected after what happened,” said Tavish. He was taking them to his home. “Ye even lost two fingers!”

The shorted man tightened his grip were his ring finger and pinky once were.

“I will be fine,” responded, looking at the german.

“Yer lucky your friend is a doctor... Ye are goin’ tae tell me what happened or not?”

The other two men looked each other.

 

* * *

 

The third time he saw the merman, the creature was sitting in sea rocks. That was the first time he saw him with detail. His muscular human upper body, and the rest of him seemed like a shark. He was covered in scars, both human and animal half. In addition, he recorted his beard from the last time he saw him.

Upon seeing the sailor, the merman started screaming and to hitted his pecs like an gorilla, although Tavish or the mythical being has never and will never see a gorilla in their life.

“Are ye tryin' to seduce me?” Tavish asked, remembering what the legends said about the sirens. He wished he was trying to capture a siren instead of this man that was going to fight like hell.

The merman laughed loudly. “You wished!” replied just before jumping into the sea.

Tavish groaned, seeing him escape again.

“Gift me a bottle of poison, tailor!”

 _What._ The merman was poking out his head out of the water next to the sailboat.

“Give me one of your bottles!” he insisted.

“Ye want... this?” Tavish took his bottle of whisky that was on his boat and showed it.

“That is what I said!” responded annoyed, “are you deaf, human?”

“Then yer stupid, this is called alcohol!” said Tavish gesturing to the bottle. He knew that that would make difficult his hunt but his pride was offended.

“And it is poison, both of us know that!”

“It is...!” Actually, he has had a previous discussion with the german doctor about exactly that. The german managed to convince the scottish that alcohol was poison, but a good kind of one in a measured way. He was actually trying to convince Tavish to drink less. “What will ye give me in return?”

“I’m asking for a gift, I will not pay you anything, ever.” He tilted his head and gave a smirk. “Please.” His smile turned into a grin, showing his teeth. What Tavish could saw is that all of his canines were abnormally large, and a superior broken left incisive.

“Ach, fine.”

Tavish throwed the bottle next to him, who catched it nimbly, and sank into the sea once again.

“You didnae said thanks!” yelled, with the hope of him returning. The thought that maybe he could catch the creature drunk, but he didn’t saw him for days.

 

* * *

 

“It isnae to early for you?” questioned Tavish the fourth time he saw him, at zero seven hundred hours. All the other times where in or close the sunset.

The creature didn’t responded. He was too occupied glaring at the bread Tavish was eating. He swallowed while looking with while open eyes.

“Ye want this bread?”

“Yes,” bursted, “I mean, no.” He looked like he was in the middle of a existential crisis. “That makes me sick every single fucking time, but I want it!”

The merman punched the water, cursing, to the amusement of Tavish. He decided to throw the bread anyway and see what would happen.

“Oh, fuck you,” he hissed, then changed his mind in 180°, conflicted, “thank you...” He took the bread, raised it with lament in his face. “I can’t!”

A seagull approximated, ready to take the rejected food. The merman eyes wide opened, and with a blow grabbed the bird by the neck. Then, he bited the bird head off.

“Thank you for the dessert!” exclaimed, mouth with blood, and went back to the sea.

Tavish view how his bread was eaten by other birds who ignored the tragedy of their sibling. Food is more important, but Tavish was not hungry anymore after that show. At least that guy has manners after all.

 

* * *

 

“Ye want another bottle?” Tavish asked. It was probably zero three hundred hours. Sadly the sky was cloudy.

The merman shook his head no.

“...Want tae talk?” he improvised.

“That sounds fine,” responded, the waves moving him up and down. Tavish vaguely could see the other face, so he could only read him by his voice, and he sounded surprisingly dreary.

“So, ye are a merman—”

“I am a _triton_ you ignorant imbecile!” he retorted, more excited than before.

“Alright, alright, calm down...” _Noted_ , “are ye from here?”

“Of course I am not from here...”

This is not going well.

“‘M not from here neither. I’m from Scotland.”

“I think I know those coasts... yes, _Caledonia_ , I remember.” Before Tavish could’ve said anything about that the triton continued: “what are you doing here?” inquired with a new impetu.

“I...” He couldn't say he was there to hunt him down certainly. “I have made a mistake goin’ here. Big mistake.”

“But you are _free_ , not like...”

Tavish gulped, then expired and inspired loudly. It was true, he was working with Dell and Ludwig who convinced him in Scotland to went to the new world to help them to hunt down the triton, for the promise of money—and fame too but that didn’t mattered to him. At first it seemed just like moving out to work in a new place, with the security of being maintained by the two idiots while he searched for a creature in the sea: he wanted financial security for once in his life. The time passed as he has come to the realization that it was a immensely risky decision. If something happened to the other guys he was fucked.

He was a free man that couldn’t leave.

“Sorry,” apologized the triton, “I haven’t see in a little while the ships with...” He caught himself rambling. “I do not understand you humans, the things you do. You can ask me something else, if you want,” offered.

Tavish nodded, thinking in what to say. Changing the subject also was what he wanted.

“Let’s see... My name is Tavish...” There is was no point in telling him his surnames, “...What is yer name?”

“Jane,” replied after a pause.

“Yer name can’t be Jane. I bet ye heard that from someone else.” Maybe a ship name.

“Well, that is the name I had told you, so it is my name,” responded, apparently offended. “Besides, you can not pronounce my real, _name_ , if I can call it like that.”

“I dinnae know anything about you fish people.”

“Do not call me like that, christian!”

“‘Christian?!’ In what do ya believe, lad?”

“ _Oh no_ , no, I promised myself to not have that fight about that with you humans never again.”

“Whatever ye say, pagan,” Tavish remarked, to what the merman chucked. “When I asked ya if you were from here, I wanted tae now if there is more people like you.”

“Yes. Not here.”

Good, short answers again. What’s the point to talk to someone you want to hunt after all?

“What are ye doin’ alone here?”

“That is a good question.”

“Then...?”

“I suppose I am mourning.”

“ _Oh._ I’m sorry laddie.”

“Yeah, yeah. The kid got himself killed, but maybe I could... I should not have left him go alone, but he did not listened to me.”

He was actually talking all the sudden. “What do ya mean?”

“I... No, why would I tell you this to you?”

“‘Cause ye... Ye are already doing it.”

“I cannot argue with that.” He changed his mood completely. “But I will not tell you everything.”

“Fair.”

“I knew that kid since him was like half my length, and I took care of him.”

“He was half-shark too?”

“No, half-swordfish. The fucker was fast... Oh for my King, I really miss him.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Stop with that. I do not need your sorry.”

“‘M trying to be polite!”

The triton took a small pause before he spoke again. “Thanks, I suppose.” Tavish nodded.

“So, there's all kinds of mer people?” If wasn’t for the german he work for he would had kept calling them half-fish people always.

“I would not said all, but, a lot of variety. And I was trying to talk about my friend!”

“I dinnae understand why ye where alone with him if there is more people like you!”

“We did not lived with the rest!”

“Why?”

Jane thought in an answer. “We choose live apart. I mean, I did that first, and then the kid went to me, many years ago.”

“Then he wasn’t a kid,” Tavish blurted without thinking about it.

“We do not age like you, human.”

“How old are ya?”

“I took you to ask _one_ question!” he remembered, “and you keep, throwing to me more and more questions!”

“Sorry,” the train of thought of Tavish was accelerated by curiosity, enough to forget that he shouldn’t befriend someone who he pretended to kill. Well, maybe not him, but he knew Ludwig and Dell would definitely do that soon or later. “Yer goin’ to tell how old are—”

“I do not know!” Jane looked at the light of the moon behind the clouds. “I am centuries older than you for sure.”

“Bloody hell.” Maybe “Jane” was some kind of tiny god after all. Tavish to the moment conveniently didn’t wanted to think about him as anything more than a weird animal.

“Now you want to know how that kid died, is not right?”

“I... I actually was gonna avoid asking that for respect.” It’s true.

The triton nodded, looking at the water. “Good,” he paused, “can I tell you anyway?”

“Sure.” The weird half person pagan god really wanted to talk.

“He... Few years later after we meet, we meet another _thing_ like us, but not really like us. He was an adult as you call, and also wanted to take care of the kid, but not really.”

Tavish limited himself to look, completely confused at the other. Jane noticed that and tried harder to explain himself.

“I knew he actually wanted to eat him.”

“ _What?!_ ” He was more confused than before.

“What I said. Shut up for a moment.” Tavish limited himself to nodd again. “He knew the kid was thin, and never would have been able to defend himself if he catched him, and that he was stupid enough to trust in him.”

“He put him against you, isnae it?”

“Yes, you get it.”

“How?”

“I am not entirely sure, and I will never be.” This must make the mourning of the fallen fellow more difficult. “That piece of shit must have had convinced him he was his friend, that he could have being better alone or with him, that I...” the triton licked his lips, “that I was crazy or something.”

Jane signed.

“Maybe,” Tavish aventured, “maybe he told the kid the same thing you told him, that you were goin’ tae eat him.”

“I would have never—!” Jane bellowed.

“Wow! Easy.” That sudden scream scared for real Tavish. “I didnae say that—”

“I—I am sorry. I am maybe... I am not very ‘sane’ after all.” The triton pointed at his head before sighing again. “It took me many years to understand that, to, accept it. Everyone knew. I was... That is why they took my conch away, and told me to go away for some years, and, that I was not a warrior anymore.”

“And you never returned.”

“Yes, exactly. I hate how that you seem to read my mind.”

Tavish chucked. “Ye said ye were a warrior.” And something weird about a... seashell?

“I was. They said I was not suitable for that,” Jane replied, and gave a snicker. “Fuckers. ‘You are too hotheaded’,” imitated in a mocking way. “‘You will hurt—’” he interrupted himself. “I guess they were right. Does not matter, I like to live on my own after all.”

“It must be lonely after a while.” _Fuck._

“I had my friend for a while, until the idiot went to visit the motherfucker I mentioned before, alone.” Jane took a breath. “After a fight with me. When I looked for him it was too late: the thing was tearing him apart, _piece for piece_ ,” said looking Tavish to the eyes, gesticulating with every word. “I was there for him too late!”

Jane punched the water once again.

“Lad...”

“I told him that that was going to happen!” shouted, then relaxed a little again. “After I saw that, I tried to kill him myself and he almost got me.” The triton showed the scars in his right arm. Tavish couldn’t see them because the distance and the obscurity of the night, but he remembered then from the previous encounters: scars from suckers.

“An octopus?” Half-octopus?”

“A giant one. He could had sink ship if he wanted.”

“Bloody hell...” Perhaps the legends about the kraken were true after all.

“Some dolphins saved me, and they must had warn to my people what happened. When a few where near I asked them for help to kill him, and we did, but...”

“Ye are still mourning lad, nothing wrong with that.”

“I did not said anything why—?” Jane hated how the human readed him.

“Maybe ye should go back to your people.” _Please go away. Save yourself._

“Not yet, is calm here,” he almost whispered. “They told me I could have stay with them as long I behave, what the fuck does that mean?”

“Well, what it says.”

Jane groaned. “They also promised to give me back my conch.”

“What does that do?”

The triton laughed. “You should know that.”

“No? Why would I—?”

“You should know your legends, human.”

“Dinnae tell me what tae do, fish.” How annoying is being called human.

“Fuck off.” He chucked. “It was nice to talk with you, Tavish.”

“Stop breakin’ me nets, Jane.”

“I am going to think about that, but I do not think so.”

“As ye said: fuck off.”

“Bye,” Jane waived to Tavish before disappearing in the ocean.

_We have failed you, brother._  
_Please go back to us, our lost child._  
_We are waiting for you._

 

* * *

 

“So, you said ye were attacked by a merman.”

“Yes,” both answered at unison.

“That it also split in two yer boat.”

“Yes.”

Tavish pointed both with his index and middle finger. “Yer the craziest tourists I’ve ever know.”

Ludwig bended down towards the table, smiling. “Ve’re not kidding, my friend!”

“I’m nae shit of ye.”

The three man remained in silent, all of them tensing.

“Look,” said Dell in a low voice, probably in pain. He started counting with his fingers, “you saw the boat, you saw, this,” he showed his mutilated hand. Ludwig’s treatment was the cauterization of the wounds. “I can’t keep countin’ with this hand really, as ya can see.”

“Ye need drinkin’ more lad, or goin’ tae sleep,” suggested Tavish, feeling pity for the texan, but also not wanting to hear any more bullshit. “Ye can sleep in my mum’s bed. She... she would’ve complained to be honest but she’s not ‘ere.”

“I’m,” Dell looked at Ludwig, “I mean we, we are sorry for your lost man.”

“...Thanks,” his joke didn’t work. “Uh, Ludwig ye—”

“I can use the sofa, I mean! If, you—”

“Aye, it’s okay,” he assured while standing up, starting to take the dishes out.

Ludwig helped Dell to going up the stairs, and then asked Tavish through a scream which room was the one for Dell. Afterwards, Tavish was waiting for him in an armchair.

“Is he okay?”

Ludwig sat in the couch. “He vill be, don’t worry, my...”

“Hey, about what ye both said before. Where ye are goin’ after?”

The promise of wealth after catching the creature seemed promising, while his home felt more empty day after day.

“Oh, that,” Ludwig grinned, “ve think the creature is heading towards the United States—”

 _“What?!”_ Tavish shouted.

“The, the animal itself said he vas leaving Europe and I assume—”

“And you expect to go there?!” Tavish stood up and walked towards Ludwig. “It was about that all this time?!”

“Ah, _scheisse, scheisse_! I am sorry, I’m momentary forgot about—”

The family of Tavish had devoted their lives to the sea since generations, dedicated from fishing to whaling in the coasts of _Alba_ , and Tavish life was not different. But, he wasn’t unaware of what was happening inside of the British Isles and in the rest of the world. The abolition occurred not so many years ago in there, and things were more, complicate, in the ex British colony.

“Hey!” Dell interrupted up the stairs. “This is a misunderstanding. Ya need to listen.”

“I’ve nothing to listen!” shouted Tavish back.

“We need a sailor, and we want to share the gains, that's it. Please calm down.”

Tavish hesitated for a second before sitting back in the armchair, while Dell went down the stairs.

“We don’t want to take away your freedom. Believe us. We only need to find a nice place in the East Coast to settle down, a better ship than a damn dory and them come back for ya.”

“Yer kiddin’.”

“No ve don’t.”

Tavish rested his back in the chair. “I’m goin’ tae think ‘bout it. Ye will have an answer in the mournin’ before you guys leave.”

Neither of the foreign said anything.

“Ye need more than one day, isnae it?”

They stayed for two weeks in Tavish’s home. After they left, Tavish waited for them for months. Almost a year later, when he was about to forget about it like it was just a dream, they were waiting him in his doorway after he came back from the work.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Tavish, ya look better today.”

Tavish stared at the texan. He stopped himself from recriminate that he was the one who lost his eye, after all, Dell had also lost a parts of his body.

“I am sorry Tav, you know what they say...”

Tavish bend down in his seat. “I dinnae care is time is money now, Dell.”

“Well.” Dell hardened his gaze. “Maybe you don’t care about money, but I’m sure ya want a revenge before he’s gone.”

He can’t argue with the truth. After he managed going back inside the house near to their personal pier, he only remember himself waiting in pain—and bleeding out—the arrival of the scientists. Afterwards, his memories were blurred. Ludwig battled against the loss of blood first, and a subsequent infection later.

Tavish never had had a fever so high before. In the middle of his unsettling hallucinations caused by it he was sure he was going to demise.

And, he didn’t.

When was certainly obvious that he was going to survive, he devoted his time to drink, with not objection from his so called friends. He was terrified about what happened, and was trying comes to term with his disfiguration in his own way. Things seemed dismal as never, not so happy of having survive.

They won’t leave him alone now that he should be able to sail again. The was no way they cared much about anything else, talking only about the animal. Tavish was wrong when he thought that it would had been better if they didn’t left him so much time alone.

_“The merman was able to left lacerations from the brow to zhe, vell, the low margin of the eye socket,” said Ludwig once in his convalescence, “he really **took** your eye,” smiled like what he was saying was absolutely normal. “Luckily I stitched your vounds, zhis doesn’t look so bad now. You’re healing.”_

Tavish could only grunt at this, before Ludwig went again on a rant about mer people again. How they were strangely a mix up between fish and some kind of carnivorous human ( _primate_ , would insist Ludwig). The specialized eat-eating teeth, probably having grinders that looked more like the ones from cats or dogs or in other words, sawed; their incapacity to digest starch making themselves sick; their nails pointed as claws for tearing the flesh; their natural beauty apparently to lure humans, just as the legends says.

A predator made for kill and eat humans who dare to adventure in the sea, but after humanity surpassed them with technology they went to hiding. Successfully, almost no one believed they existed anymore, until one idiot merman adventured too close the coasts.

“Hello guys!” The man himself interrupted Tavish’s thoughts, crossing the doorway. Always in good humor, was a beast when he had a difference of opinion with Dell, who reacted in almost the same manner. It never took so long before they went back to normal, one being the hand of the other.

Dell nodded at Ludwig, while Tavish didn’t move, only staring. “Vere you bothering our friend again, Dell? You—”

“Cut yer shit, lads,” interrupted Tavish, “I know yer playing games.”

“Ve are not—” tried Ludwig to speak.

“Yes, yes you are.” Tavish pointed at both severely with each hand. ”We all know here that ye only need me ‘cuz neither know how tae sail.”

“I help ya to take care of the boat, Tavish,” reminded Dell.

“And I appreciate it,” responded with the most forced smile he could do. “I... I want a new deal. _If_ I can have that, I set sail tomorrow.”

“Okay...” said Dell with attention.

“Ve’re listening”

“I want that after we capture him—”

“It, Tavish. _It_ ,” corrected Ludwig.

Tavish licked his lips before reanuning where he was. “After we capture, it,” said hesitant, “I want enough money to going back to my home in Scotland—and ye always have money, somehow, by the way.” It has to be dirty money they gain when they are in the city, and they want even _more_ , “I know yer goin’ tae earn enough money for all the boats and sailors ye want after ye kill, it.”

“We’re not goin’ ta kill it, isn’t that right Lud?”

“How we could kill zhe biggest discovery of zhe century!”

“I told you two to stop with that!” bellowed Tavish, and saw how both Ludwig and Dell smiles went gone. “‘M not a wee kid that doesn’t understand what’s goin’ on! If ye weren’t goin’ tae kill it you”—pointing at Dell—“would have done the perimeter with metal nets in the wharf long time ago, as ye fuckin’ said.”

Neither of the man of science said anything for a little while. They looked each other briefly in their usual complicity, then back to the scot. Ludwig opened his mouth to talk.

“Ve can have a deal, if,” Ludwig looked again at Dell eyes, “if ve can go with you this time.”

“Aye, I guess.” assured Tavish, sure that they did trust him anymore, if they ever did. “Ye we supposed to be my crew since the beginning anyway.”

“We were workin’ in the city, son.”

“Ye never told me _what_ ye do, and left me alone most of the time. I swear I was loosing my mind and now yer turning me crazy with all yer stupid chatter.”

Dell huffed, impatient. “We took you with us there when we buy provisions.”

“Not since I was sick,” corrected this time Tavish.

“Vell, of course not.”

Tavish signed. “I’m startin’ to think ye only convinced me to leave home because I was mournin’ my mum.”

Silent.

“I’m nae safe here,” said while his face contorted.

Dell gestured at Tavish, hand open. “Tav—”

“Ye know more shite than I do, ‘n’ I just want tae _leave_.”

The texan face winced, putting his hand down and clenching both of his fists. He looked at the floor.

“Yes, yes I do.” Tavish tensed. “We’re in a free state but ya have all the right to be worried. I’m sorry, Tav. Maybe we shouldn’t have left Europe either. This nation is _rotting_.” Dell lifted his gaze from the floor to Tavish. “But we are here. Let’s finish this business for once and for all.”

Another uncomfortable silent happened, until Ludwig cleared his throat.

“Then, how much you want?” asked Dell.

 

* * *

 

It was a chill night. His comrades where unpresent and after eating his dinner—fish, again—he went further their pier to the beach, to the sea to watch the tide rise.

To Tavish surprise, he wasn’t the only one out chilling that night. He could see Jane’s head poking out the water a few meters inside the waters. It seemed he saw him too.

“Hey!” called Tavish, “do ye mind having some company?!”

“Come here if you dare!”

Tavish meditated for a second. He didn’t have any weapon with him; the triton could easily kill him, everything pointed it to be a stupid idea.

Like it wasn’t stupid going to America in the first place, and a dare is a dare.

The scot took off his clothes from his upper body, then his boats. Later, he ran into the sea and he started to swan soon after. Once there, the triton wasn’t in sight.

“Motherfucker.”

Jane emerged from the water in from of Tavish. “Hey!”

“Oh shite, sorry. I thought you left.”

“You know, most people, if accept that dare, come with weapons.”

“I’m nae those people,” Tavish improvised, feeling pain in his chest.

“If you said so...”

“Hey, I’m nae lying.” His chest hurt more.

He paddled next to Jane side, who was peering at him without saying anything.

Tavish carefully took Jane’s left arm behind his neck, not sure about what he was doing or it if was really happening. Surprisingly, Jane stayed still even when Tavish holded his hand with his own left. Next, Tavish placed his free arm under Jane, where it would have been Jane’s thighs if he had had legs.

At that, Jane finally reacted. He grinned like before, but his superior incisive was somehow entire this time.

“I have no idea what you are doing.” He turned his face to Tavish’s one, almost touching. “Please continue.”

“Okay...”

Tavish started to swam back to the beach. The triton didn’t move at all, making things more difficult for Tavish. Jane only bothered to laugh at Tavish expense.

His smile shrinking more and more the close they were to the beach.

“Where are you taking me?” asked once they were in the beach with fear.

 

* * *

 

Today was the day.

Dell gave him a new “special” harpoon, but there was no certainty that the animal was going to appear. It could has already left forever.

Tavish was alone, with no other crew members.

He was, more exactly, the bait.

“Hey,” said a voice from next the sailboat, unaware of the danger.

“ _Hey,_ ” repleated Tavish, attacking the triton with the harpoon.

The animal gave an horrific bellow. Tavish tried to stand on the boat but it violently turned around, sending him to the water.

He opened his eye and saw the triton trying to grab him. It saved Tavish that something started to pull it from the shore. The animal grabbed what he could, taking the small embarkation and pullet it with itself.

Tavish swam back to the wharf, following his boat and the merman.

Once out the water, he saw the figures of the scientists from not so far.

“Tavish? Are you okay?!” shouted Ludwig from the rocks. “Come help us with zhis zhing!”

Tavish trotted to where the others were. They did had the situation almost controlled. Almost.

The triton was lying on its abdomen, bleeding from the wound on his shoulder. They controlled the animal with lasso on its neck—that injured its gills—in addition of the chain of the harpoon.

Dell was squatting in from of it, pressing down its head and back with his arms and the rest of his weight. Ludwig was sitting behind the dorsal fin located on its small of the back. It seemed that Dell and Ludwig just managed to chain its wrists behind its back, but the animal was still struggling against them, agitating its tail.

The triton tussled, trying to see the scotsman. “Tavish, help me please,” it begged, staying still. “I will forgive you about the harpoon, just—”

Dell pulled his hair. “Shut up!”

Tavish walked aside the tail, took a step to turn around and to place himself above the animal, his legs on each side of the animal. He sat back to back with Ludwig, grabbing the tip of its tail, who started resisting again and cursing Tavish.

“You told it your name?” asked Ludwig.

“I was tryin’ tae be friendly at first. Didn’t worked.”

The scot could swear that he heard a gasp from the creature, who stopped fighting altogether, finally giving up.

Seeing that the triton surrender, it was quite easy for them to bring it inside the house between three people. It was not so easy to move Ludwig’s bed out of his room, and figuring a way to put in the dining table.

All that time the merman was left resting of its side, it didn’t move at all, nor said anything.

When they were done, Tavish decided to go out for his sailboat dragged to the rocks. He avoided to look at it when going outside.

“Tav,” Dell called him from the door before he was too far. “I’m goin’ to cut the chain of the harpoon, can’t ya pick that thing up?”

The chain was all the way from the home to the rocks.

“Aye, I will. Go tae do, yer stuff.”

Tavish was having trouble not thinking in the animal when he was picking up the chain. The way it gave up when he appeared affected him.

He tried to think on its fish half harder. He thought in its metallic blue, the white of the belly. He also thought in the form and length of its fins...

Only a blue pointer, a mako shark, could have keep up with a half-swordfish half-human child who he was grieving for years, just as he was still grieving his mum.

_He can’t let Jane die._

Once Tavish dried his tears with his hands, he dropped the chain and hurried back to the home.

In there, he opened the door where the scientists and his friend was.

“Lads, need any help...?”

Everyone freezed in their places.

The triton was face up in the table, having the tip of the harpoon still in his flesh. His eyes were watery and his temples humid. His his jaw, trembling. Tavish felt his glare on him, he could swear that he was asking, crying out for misericordy.

Ludwig was crouched over the specimen, one of his hands resting—or maybe pressing—the being chest, while the other was next to the clavicle.

At the end of the table, next to Jane’s tail was Dell standing still. His face was steely, and in his hands were a shotgun that Tavish never saw before in the house, probably to kill the triton if he attacked his friend.

“Go outside,” demanded Dell, clenching his jaw and breathing hard. His hands were shivering, finger in the trigger.

All the eyes where on Tavish. A sparkle from Ludwig’s hand caught his attention: he was trying to hide a scalpel.

“What the fuck?!” he bursted.

Dell pointed with the gun at Tavish. “Tav, go outside,” insisted, “please. We can talk later.”

“Pieces of shite...” He raised his arms.

Ludwig stood up, hiding the knife behind him. “Dell there is no need to do that. Tavish vas leaving, right?” said with nervousness. “Put the gun down.” Lowering his tone.

After that, everything happened too fast.

The triton sat down with an inhuman velocity, biting the doctor neck and both failing to the floor.

Dell tried to defend his friend, but was stopped by Tavish who took the gun from the fore-end, making it to point upward. In their struggle Dell by accident fired the weapon, blowing up his own face.

Tavish jumped back terrorized, stained in blood. The shotgun and Dell fell to the floor, the second with no motion anymore.

He stayed still in shock, only hearing his racing breath. Pieces of what was once Dell’s face were everywhere. A piece failed suddenly from the ceiling, making Tavish startle with a scream.

“Shite...”

Ludwig’s body was lying face up. The flesh from his neck were teared apart, blood staining his clothes and the floor. He looked at Ludwig lifeless eyes. They seemed that they were looking at him accusatively. _You wanted all the money for yourself. We travel back to Scotland for you and this is what you’ve done to us._

“Shite, shite...”

“. _..Help._ ”

The triton face was in the floor. He were barely able to drag himself half meter towards the door, without having his arms free.

“Stay there, I—I need something tae cut that...”

Once Tavish liberated Jane from his chains, he took the triton in his arms to the pier, knowing that the mythical being wasn’t in condition to drag himself out the house, and guilty from he being the one who trapped him.

“Ye can swam?”

The merman didn’t responded and jumped into the water.

For his surprise, Tavish jumped too.

Jane emerged in front of Tavish from the water, face to face. “Why did you jump?!” cried out confused.

“Why ye didn’t _left?!_ ” pointing at Jane, “Why ye got near?! Ya wanted to be _captured?!”_

“I wanted to know if you were fine you idiot!”

“ _Oh._ ”

He felt that answer like a knife in his chest.

“Sorry for taking out your eye.”

_Motherfucker._

“You could have killed me ‘n’ ya didn’t!”

“Well...” Pause. “Just go back to the land!” Jane pushed Tavish with his good arm.

“I can’t!” exclaimed back.

“What?! _Why?!_ ”

“I killed two people!” the merman looked confused. “Well, one and they’re goin’ tae blame me ‘bout the other when people eventually come here looking for them!”

The scotsman glanced up to the sky, trying to refrain himself from crying. “I’m so fuck up.”

“Just throw the bodies to the sea,” said almost expreseless, like it was nothing.

“So ye could eat them?”

“Yes.” Tavish widened his eye. “I mean...”

“Ye fuckin’ eat my fuckin’ eye!”

“You were going to kill me! You, you almost got me kill again!”

“Ye should’ve left! Now yer injured!”

The triton was hardly able to move his arm from his injured shoulder, bleeding from where was still the harpoon.

“I will be fine. Now go back.”

“I told ye I can’t.”

“Go back to your homeland.” He was starting to lost patience.

“I dinnae have nothing left there.” His mother died of old age years ago, who lived past her fifty. Most people didn’t even pass that.

“You need money?”

“Not everything is resolved wi’ money.”

No one can unkill someone.

“I will not let you die after you saved me.”

Tavish gave a false laugh, feeling miserable and unable to think with clarity.

The merman huffed. “You not only saved me, you saved all of my people. You humans would have hunt us down after realizing we are not only legends.”

He knew for sure it was true. Humanity can be inarguably evil.

“The madmans were following ye from Europe,” Jane gulped at the same time he furrowed his face. “You... you were the one puttin’ in risk yer people in the first place.”

Tavish was sure that the merman was going to snap. He almost killed him before, he thought it was better to put an end to his existence now that he ruined everything. Everything was lost.

“I know, I know...” Jane muttered absorted.

Perhaps Jane was looking for the same as he was. 

“Sorry. Let’s just say ye were bored.” Bored of loneliness, he knew about that. About recklessness too.

“Go back to the land, please.” He wasn’t in condition to drag an adult human himself back to land. “Then throw the bodies the sea and wait here in the wharf for me.”

“Why?” asked Tavish surprised. He was starting to have difficult keeping his head out of the water.

“I will give you something for your journey to Scotland. For now just steal from the fuckers.”

Going back home, finally. The idea returned Tavish to his senses. Slowly, he swam back. It was a really cold night, and it didn’t help that he obviously was entirely soaked. God, I’m goin’ tae be so sick. I’m goin’ tae fuckin’ die anyway.

 

* * *

 

After changing clothes and drying his skin, Tavish did as the triton said and dragged the bodies to the ocean, not without repulsion. Jane took them and insisted to wait for him before leaving.

Tavish sat in the edge of the pier, legs dangling.

Why is he waiting for a merman in the first place, he thought. Despite that he didn’t left, holding on his last hopes.

He had no idea how much time passed before Jane’s arrived.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” Tavish barely stuttered. He was not sure if he was imagining it or not, that the merman looked more pale than before, but was sure than he looked exhausted.

“I am back from making sure the deads will not float.”

“...Thanks.” _Jesus Christ._

“Also...”

Jane briefly disappeared in the water again. He throw something big behind Tavish, to his surprise, making him scream.

It was treasure chest.

Not sure if was actually happening, he clumsily opened it. Inside it was gold and other jewelry, aside from what seemed as other antiques. He wanted to said something to the triton but was speechless.

“Long long ago we used to has trade with us, humans. I tried to sell something to your ‘friends’ years ago.” That explained a lot. “Big mistake. It was fun at first though,” Jane smiled briefly, a worried expression replacing the smile. “Thanks to you my people will fine, although for my part...”

It appeared he cursed under his breath.

No one will know about the merfolk, except for Tavish, who was finally able to talk:

“Are ye goin’ tae be okay?” he inquired.

“Go back home.”

The scottish could sell part of this in a port far away from that place, more at the north, and finally make his way home in a passengers ship, his own ship not being suited to cross the sea side by side. It was a risky idea, but not worse than staying.

“I’m goin’ tae be eternally grateful.” His eye was tearful. Ignoring the context, it was certainly the best gesture ever offered to him. A life saving one, from a friend. “I will ever see you again, Jane?”

Jane was mostly submerged, only having his shiny eyes out. He left his good arm out, showing a thumb up with his hand. Then, proceeded to slowly submerge his head while waving a bye, until the hand disappeared in the water.

“ _...Jane?”_

 

* * *

 

The waves made his boat stagger. The dory didn’t have much more shelf life time, going to see the sunset in the sea maybe wasn’t a great idea.

 _Nah_ , at worse his old bones will hurt the other day. He went a bit too far into the ocean alone and no one is going to row for him.

Tavish changed his life from whaling and fishing to sailing a ferry, his own ship. The Britain islands, Europe, back and forth. It has been fun, but the old sea dog was getting tired. Time doesn’t stop for anyone.

He liked to think his parents would be proud of him.

Tavish looked at the water changing its colors along with the sea. Strangely, he could swear he also saw a brown blot for split a second.

“What the...?”

He looked down his right side—his good side. A familiar face was there, leaving him speechless.

“It is you! You made it!” Jane exclaimed.

“Yes—Of course it’s me! That was several years ago! Are ye goin’ tae greet me or not? I cannae believe...”

Jane climbed into the boat in front of Tavish, then, threw himself to hug Tavish, all while grinning.

“Long time no see!” he said. “Well, is the first time I find you alone since last month.”

“Jane, I need, please—”

Jane’s hug was too tight, giving Tavish trouble to breath.

“Oh shit.” He loosened Tavish and tried to place himself in front of him. “I am sorry.”

Tavish coughed a little. “It’s okay.”

It took awhile to Jane to accommodate on the tiny boat. The end of his tails ended next to Tavish’s legs. Tavish could seen a conch tied to his waist, but no the new scar in Jane’s shoulder. His eye wasn’t good enough for that anymore.

“Why it took you so long?” inquired Tavish with a voice crack. “I’m so old, I thought I wasn’t goin’ tae be able see you again.”

“You and your ‘friends’ fucked up my shoulder, remember?” the triton responded with a question, smiling to cheer up his friend. It did took it way too long to see him, between recovering from his wounds and having to take care of troublemaking youngsters as sentence—It was that or _death_.

“Ye have no idea how much people have called me a pirate because of you...”

“Oh no.” He didn’t liked them. “Sorry, I—”

“Dinnae be sorry, I’m still grateful of what ye did for me.”

Jane didn’t knew what to respond.

“Yer too humble lad.” Tavish pointed at Jane. “Well, want tae tell me what have ye been doin’?”

“I want to know what have _you_ been doing first.”

“ _I_ asked first. I win.”

“...Fuck.” He cannot argue with that.

“Dinnae worry, we’ve all night tae talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: _i think_ (or i'm just paranoid AF) this can be interpreted as "(ship) bashing" (like that?). i swear to god, it was by accident; it was never the intention. at first this fic was only going to have medic besides demo and soldier (obviously), but without thinking enough about it as it was getting longer, i added engineer. i didn't have in mind other ship that also has solly in it, and i tried to write the charas with gray moral in general. oh well, this is an apology, just in case.


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special night of realizations. Soldier struggling with violent thoughs (a little explicit) and being a bit ableism with himself.

Spy once said to Demo in the laundry room that one should not tell everything about one to others, but Tavish can’t help to tell almost everything to Soldier—Besides, that’s from Spy who is himself a secretive person for obvious reasons, and also because he’s a jerk, Demo guesses. Is imposible telling are your secrets and aspects of yourself when you don’t even know them. Fuck Spy. He will tell everything he fucking want to Jane, that’s how much he trust him. Why is he letting the snake to sneak into his mind after all. Why is he still thinking about this?!

Demo grabs his head, groaning.

“Something is wrong?” asks Soldier. Both were in the dressing room.

“Nothing is wrong Soldier, keep doin’ ye stuff,” reassures Demo.

This is the kind of times when is worth to lie, or to just omit information. Despite this, Tavish wouldn’t admit the possibility of Spy being right. He’s already enough stressed by this and he doesn’t want to make things worse.

“Okay...”

Of course something must be at least a little wrong, figures Soldier. Maybe something is going above his head. How _stupid._

Soldier suspires quietly.

He isn’t _so_ stupid. He can’t be _(Right?)_. Is conscious of not being the most bright person on planet Earth, is just, it will still hurt a little. Others haven’t call him stupid for nothing in the past, and other will keep calling like that in the future, just as always have been. _So stupid, stupid, stupid…_

_“I still can’t understand what you’re trying to explain.”_

_“Ye will understand.”_

_“What if I don’t?”_

_“Then it wisnae important in the first place. Forget ‘bout it, let’s talk ‘bout something else...”_

Demo find always ways to comfort him, something that Soldier doesn’t thinks Demo should. Why bothering with him? No one else does that. No one has ever had so much patience with him, not without at some point starting to being an annoying condescending smartass. That’s one of the many reason he trust Demo with every inch of his body. Well, almost every inch, which is certainly a problem: Tavish _deserves_ all his complete and undying trust.

“Today’s plan is still...?”

“Of course it is!” Demoman interrupts overexcited, grinning at Soldier. As he remembered their plain he has forgot what Spy told him, for now.

Soldier doesn’t like when someone doesn’t even let him finish what he is saying, but he’s getting used of Demo—and only Demo—doing that. Demo knows him well. So well.

It’s going to be a good night.

\-----

“Ye trust me?” asks Demoman, smiling from side to side, barber razor in hand. He looks at Soldier who has shaving cream on his beard, beard that shouldn’t been there in the first place but Jane has not shave in a while, for some reason.

Of course he fucking trust him. “Yes I do,” Soldier responds mechanically.

“Ye seems nervous.”

“No I don’t. Just get this done already,” he hurries.

“ _Yes sir._ ” Demo raises the razor.

“I told you to stop with that!” He is so embarrassed of the effect on him when Demo calls him like that, with _that_ specific tone.

Demoman snickers, not able to hold his laugh. He lands his free hand on Soldier’s left side, raising the shiney razor with the other. Soldier to jolts instantly with the contact.

_Can I control myself for ONE second?!_

Demo glares into his eyes, still smiling.

“I won’t cut yer throat, Soldier.”

Soldier knows that, but his mind has decided to do its own thing and is showing to Jane the imaginary images of him being slaughter like a lamb, over and over again. He even sees his blood pouring from his neck and staining Demo.

Oh, that must be the problem, thinks Soldier. He really _really_ doesn’t trust knives—And Spy neither, by the way. He trusted Tavish since the beginning after all— _Intimately_. His mind was playing tricks, the cost of having and always active fight-or-flight response, presumably: that was the life of the soldiers.

“Maybe ye should shave yerself,” Demo says, retracting his hand.

“No,” responds, snapping out of his violent thoughts. “I want... I want you to do it this time.” That’s why he hasn’t shave in a while.

“Very well lad...”

Carefully, Demo puts back his left hand in Soldier’s face, and starts shaving him off with the other, all while having a tiny smile in his lips.

Oh God, how much he loves this crazy man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I'm paroding this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BECR7iTSXas), a TV show so present tense was a must. Btw, no more graphic violent descriptions in the next ones... well maybe a little in the last fic.


	3. Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soldier's Plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solly POV, with a bit of first person (I tried). I think this needs a warning for _self harm_... (sorry)

I know damn well that one day Tavish will catch me in the act, but I don’t care: this is the definition of a worthing act, and at this point I have to admit I have no more ideas left.

He doesn’t drink a few liters like any man, he drinks till unconsciousness almost every night, not just sometimes like most men. The son of a bitch...! I am so sorry ma'am, I don't have a better expresion for this. The son of a bitch doesn’t even only drink his cheap whisky and beer—beer that often we drink together—he drinks household cleaners! He always says he knows the “science” of drinking them without dying. I think he doesn’t remember and he doesn’t remember that **_I_** remember that that knowledge cost him and Medic a few stomach washes.

This miserable...! Look, I do what I can. I know he one day will catch me dripping his bottles when he is not looking but I. Don’t. Care. He’ll be angry! Then he’ll forget about it and everything will be the same again! Everything will be fine. I know it. I am sure! It, it has to be.

\-----

“You have drink enough.”

It doesn’t matter how much you can drip his bottles if he drinks all the bottles at once.

“Aye... I guess.” Demoman pushes his chair, making all the bottles in the table tremble. He reaches an arm towards Soldier, with the corners of his mouth pointing upwards while his only eye is barely open. He is so happy to see Soldier, he feels even more blissfull with his drunkenness. _Where have you been? I didn’t knew what to do alone._

Soldier goes in to stand at Demo’s side, then he carefully takes and places Demo’s arm around his own shoulders before lifting him.

Soldier is always ready to help, as much as he can. He’s eager to know what else he can do for Demoman, acknowledging that what he can do is still not enough—Taking away from him all the alcohol and the bottles of _anything_ is not a realistic option.

This is not an easy battle to win, but all battles are winnable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again. It was inspired by [this](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/6/64/Competitive_tier3_2650x1600.jpg) (part of the games files). I know it's suppost to be funny but hhhhhh...


	4. Reocurrence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may feel a sense of deja vu, if you read the last one.

What is the fuckin’ point in using a helmet if you hit your head so hard that you lose your consciousness anyway? I guess it would be worse if you didn’t used it.

Soldier’s convalescent, again... This idiot. _My_ , idiot. Shouldn’t call him like that but ‘M sure he would have already drop dead if wasn’t for Medic.

Medic says that someone who has hurt their head before is more likely to hurt their head again, like a cycle of reckless and accidents that only gets worse and worse until...

He’s not a baby, what am I supposed to do? I can’t watch him 24/7, and even if I try he’s a magnet for accidents, I’ve never met a men like him. This is the way he is and he can’t be tame or something. He simply won’t change, never, and the sooner I accept it the better. Maybe he would change if he hits his goddamn head even harder, that...

Jesus. There is no way his name is actually Jane Doe. _Who is this man?_

What if this man one day wakes up being someone else? Someone who comes back from long long ago and _my_ Janey is gone forever? Oh no, no. Worse: What if, one day he doesn’t wakes up anymore?

 _No._ No, no, no.

Gonna think ‘bout something else or _I_ will lose my mind.

...Wake up soon, ye big aof. I’m bored.

\-----

Another morning in the base. Demo and Soldier were almost ready to leave Demo’s rooms (that have turned into their room). They’ve work to do with the team, another battle awaits for all of them.

Soldier, already dressed, is sitting in the bed. He looks at his left side not finding what he wants, then he finds it in his right: his helmet. Is so rare at this point of his life not wearing it than he forgets where he left it whenever the object isn’t on his head.

He puts his helmet on and stands up. Surprisingly, Demo stops him by grabbing him by his wrist.

Soldier turns around confused. Then, Demo tries to tie up his helmet. Soldier realizing what Demo is doing turns his face and takes a step bad, not content with Demo’s attempt.

“Do it for me,” begs Demo, placing both of his hands in Soldier’s shoulders.

“I am sorry but _no_ , Tavish. I won’t” That is the way he is, the way he will always be till the end.

“I luv you, Jane.”

“...”

It’s true, from the bottom of the scotsman heart. The problem is that not even this soft reminder can change Soldier’s mind.

Demo lays his hands down without breaking his glare.

“Ye always take care of me—”

“I try,” Soldier interrupts. There is always moments where Demoman drinks a little too much, moments where Demoman feels like shit, when he drowns his sorrows and his sorrows drowns him, and Soldier still hasn’t figure out a way to stop him or prevent it. He doesn’t know what to do, aside from being there for him.

Demoman always assures that him being present is more than enough, to which Soldier disagrees. Tav would be better if that was true.

“Yes, that,” points out Demo, and continues talking with a soft voice reserved only for certain occasions—a tone which Soldier loves. “Ye _try_ to take care of me, I _try_ to take care of ye, but neither of both really success.” Tavish gulps. “ _Always._ ”

With that, Demo smile is gone, leaving only a worried expression in his face. Soldier takes off his helmet, dropping it back to the bed.

“...What a disasters,” says Soldier with a tender smile in his lips,. He chuckles, expecting Demo to laugh with him, as he always do.

He doesn’t.

Soldier takes Demoman’s hands. “Hey...”

Jane softly kisses both Tavish’s hands.

“I love the way you are, and, and I think...” Soldier gulps. “I think you love me that way too.”

Demoman open his eye wide. “I do, I do, of course I do!” He takes a step closer. “But, imagine how we will be when we’re older. We’re already quite old ‘n’ ye said it, we’re disasters! Absolutely disasters!”

Tavish is supposed to be the responsible one—aside from the messes they both do on purpose, part of their antics—and he's conscious he is, as much as he tries, failing to be the responsible for both Soldier and for himself.

He tries to change but is so difficult. Everything seems so difficult sometimes.

“I’ll be careful today. I promise,” reassures Soldier. Then, he kisses Demoman in his lips.

That takes Demoman by surprise. That, plus the wide smile of Soldier and the calm silly tone of his voice of before, makes Demo forget what were they talking, like Soldier has put him in a charm.

They fools always follow each other, always going in circles but not advancing, stock in where they are. Both are afraid of some day they will fall together into a metaphorical precipice, or worst, that they will see their love one falling and being unable stop it.

Both are also sure that they at end always get on their feet again. Their paths are connected and they will have the other at their side forever.

Seeing Demo’s smile back in his lips, Soldier takes his helmet back. He leaves their room first, without tying up his helmet.


	5. Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mature!] Is possible to preside our own matrimony and get married to your partner and yourself at the same time, no? Well, Soldier believed he could. This is _after it_ , in a motel room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing has no sanctity (sorry for all the profanity and blasphemy). I joke about _priest kink_ , and has an occasion of dudes being gross (just a joke or not? up to your imagination). Light mention of homophobia but they don’t really care.

They couldn’t get a room in the motel with only one bed as they wanted, the owner being too oblivious to realize what was going on. They didn’t insisted, it wasn’t a big deal after all and perhaps it was better in that way.

The explosive duo was on the state where Soldier was legally a Priest. Jane married them both, or at least that was what Jane said in the weird ceremony he himself offered. Demo wasn’t going to question it, especially not when they were about to consume their matrimony in one of the beds—They should’ve put together the beds first though.

Anyway. They were deeply kissing in the bed on the left of the room, Tavish on top of Soldier pressing his body down him. Their legs were intertwined, hanging out the bed. Slowly, Tavish started to pull up Soldier’s shirt...

Thank God he convinced—and by convincing it means making Soldier forget something by distraction—Soldier to not use priest clothes. Demo was not into those kind of things.

Back to Earth, a good old reliable frot would be good (at least at first), both too desperate and impatience for something that needed more preparation yet. Although, perhaps they weren’t consuming the matrimony by definition until they actually...

All the sudden, Soldier broke the kiss, killing the flow. “Stop!” he barked.

“What, why?” Demoman asked confused at initially, pulling Soldier’s shirt down, back in its place, and later scared that Soldier remembered he wasn’t supossed to _absolve_ their relationship.

“A priest can’t have sex!”

Those are catholic priest, not, him, thought Demo relieved. Tavish also knew that mentioning that and also bringing up with it the fact that he was actually a baptized catholic would be a bad idea.

Demoman sat beside Soldier. “We will leave to a state where ye are not a priest tomorrow?”

“Affirmative.”

“So, no sex till we are out of ‘ere?”

“Yes.”

“...Goddammit,” Demo cursed. Respecting his partner decisions wasn’t going to stop him from cursing, especially not when they stopped because one, if not the most bizarre cause possible. “Well... I’m not leavin’ this bed. Go tae the other one.”

\-----

The lights of the lamps were still on, but the silence reigned the room, until Demo broke the silence not in the more pleasant way:

“I’m jerkin’ off thinking in you. I bet ye’r doin’ the same!”

“Not I’m not!” Soldier exclaimed. “Sleep you pervert!” demanded but with the tone of someone barely holding their laugh.

“Ye dinnae even takes this seriously, drop the joke already!”

“I am _not_ joking, private!”

He was telling the truth, at least partially. That’s how’s Soldier, after all.

Everything about them was wrong in the eyes of God, some would say, and they kept fucking it up, quite literally. Demo didn’t gave a fuck if what they did was wrong, he accepted with cheerfulness that lots of things don’t even make any sense in the first place in this damn world. Life was absurd and he was going to live it—and work till his was unable to. That was life, apparently, and it seemed that Soldier shared a similar life view (If not, how they were still together?)

It wasn’t like Demo didn’t had his low moments—he does, pretty often sadly—but, since he was with Soldier his life had acquired a new color. Soldier had invigorated his days, and made everything more absurd that already was, to Demoman happiness—and misfortune too sometimes, had to admit.

Soldier probably convinced himself about the Priest-don’t-fuck thing, he’d not mentioned anything else and especially had not bring up anything about their relationship. Soldier had a problem differencing believes with truth... Priests, _uh?_

“Excuse me, _Father..._ ” Demoman whispered audible enough. _Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been..._ Bloody Hell, when was the last time he confessed? Well, he didn’t had future plans to do it. Back to reality, he wasn’t really mad about the situation, just a little annoyed, and bored, and horny, and was going to bother the shit out of Soldier even if that...

“Tavish I’m going to KILL you if you—”

“GOODNIGHT.”

Demoman turned the lights off and tucked himself to his lonely bed. “Have sweet dreams with me,” he teased. If Soldier somehow heard _wet_ instead of _sweet_ Demo knew that he was a dead man, figuratively of course but it wouldn’t be nice anyway.

Demo quickly knew what Soldier really wanted— _him_ —and that his teased worked, when Soldier practically jumped atop of him and began to kiss him all over his neck, turning his initial shriek into a contented moan. Soldier could had done instead one of his classic Soldier’s lectures with threats that he does when he snaps.

Thank _God_ he had changed his mind...

Unless, unless Soldier was the one teasing Demoman all along.

_God fucking dammit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in [grave matters](http://www.teamfortress.com/gravematters/) says that solly is a priest and a lawyer, but the thing doesn't work now, and the [war! comic](http://www.teamfortress.com/war/administrator/) neither. nothing works of the update page except for the [index](http://www.teamfortress.com/war/part1/index.htm). w h y
> 
> Edit: [the wiki works.](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Grave_Matters)


	6. Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No self inflicted blast damage taken."  
> Demoman overthinking.

Buying the hot dogs before going to an empty of any soul Watchtower was almost a completely disaster. The salesman didn’t wanted to sell the hotdogs to them at first (“I don’t sell anything to mercenaries!”) so they “convinced” him. He must had been intimidated by Soldier’s threats and by seeing that the only thing separating him from the Soldier was the Demoman.

Was a miracle that the food arrived intact with them to the roof. They were not supposed to use their jumpers outside the work—not like that would stop them. They were also scolded for “overusing” them at work, flying all over the battlefield with very little sense of self-care. No pain in their feet and legs (except when landing) opened an infinitive amount of possibilities.

After finishing eating the hot dogs both remained silent. 

Demoman’s thoughts wandered. His mind went back to the stupid fight with the worker. Soldier probably was thinking about the same damn thing. Nobody likes the mercenaries after all, not without reasons: they have all the right to hate them and even wish them dead, but hired killers were all over the Badlands. Locals should had hate the woman that scream at them instead.

He wasn’t even sure if their comrades liked him. Not important, he shouldn’t be thinking about that, it doesn’t matter... Why is he still thinking about it?!

_Fuck._

He briefly peered at Soldier, who was absorbed with the view, too absorbed and too peaceful than the Soldier he knew most of the time. Demo wasn’t going to complain about it, and went back to his thoughts.

What a weird pair they were. Demoman couldn’t help but wonder what they _actually_ were. Perhaps two unlovable lads who loved each other because if not no one else would. 

Well, that’s definitely a ridiculous thought not worth to mention, never, Tavish deemed. If I tell you this it would make you sad for not good reason other than me overthinking.

Soldier looked at Demo. His friend was squinching his eye, looking but not really looking at the scene. Soldier realized that Demoman was thinking more than he should. That can’t be a good thing. 

The Soldier wasn’t someone that got what was going on always—at least not right—but he certainly realized certain things, in special when something went wrong with Tavish: after all these time knowing each other they were close like birds of a feather. Most of the time he didn’t knew _what_ went wrong, due to Demoman tendency to not say everything, and he respected that. Those kind of conversations would be girl talk after all, and his friend was a manly man. 

Although, Soldier would had listen anything Demo wanted to said, only if the Demoman wanted.

“Hey.” Soldier drew the attention of Demoman. He opened his arms, offering a hug to the demolition expert.

Both of them laughed, before embracing tightly in the hug.

Demoman truly appreciated the gesture. He clenched slightly the blue fabric of Soldier’s jacket, and he felt how Soldier did the same to the red fabric of his own shoulder. 

Having the relish of this man as his best mate, at his side...  
He shouldn’t worry so much for nothing.   
Everything will always be fine, leastwise remain as the same.

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~(Heavy voice): Did you think I would forget writing crossfaction? Wrong.~~  
>  I love finding a Demo and a Solly player in a weird place that no one else can reach except for those two classes (and even more being one of them).


	7. Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something unthinkable happens. Also, let’s say they were mad for longer than [certain](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Demoman_responses#Unused_responses) [unused](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Soldier_responses#Unused_Responses) lines suggest...

"Donde hubo fuego..."

 

“I can’t believe what I’m saying, but I’m glad that war is over,” confessed BLU Soldier, mouth behind his intertwined hands, elbows resting in the table. His eyes were looking down but there was no way to know for outsider since they were occulted behind his helmet of a soldier without war.

Even a war lover was tired of it after all these years fighting.

It was the _second_ time war was over, this time after Grey had finally taken the control of Mann Co. in the stupidest way possible.

RED Demoman exhaled, leaning backwards in his wood chair. In front of him was the Soldier, while between them was a small round table with a few glasses, and ashtray on it. Time had passed since the last time they were together in a place that was not a battlefield or an important part of it. They fought together in the war against the robots on the same side, sometimes, not without grudge and barely acknowledging the existence of other. 

They were finally having a long needed talk.

“Me too, Jane,” Demoman sighed, “me too.”

He was tired too.

After they found they were tricked against each other, they decided their friendship was ruined anyway. Is difficult to save a friendship when you killed your best friend over and over and _over_ again, with more sadist after each murder, and the other did the same to you. The pain inflicted left all kinds of scars on them, heart, mind, and body.

To make things worse, the winner gained a fucking pair of boots. Flying all over the place, back and forth, was easier for him now. Less pain each jump, more pain each step he takes, like divine justice. Maybe it wasn’t so unfair for Demo in the end, he can’t afford jumping all the time anyway, having to laid his sticky traps.

He _had_ to, Demoman remembered. Now that life was over.

Soldier took a new cigar of the wrapper. While he was lighting it up, he began to talk again: “what we can do now?”

“Find a new job?” Demoman innocently answered with another question, thinking if he should continue working as mercenary or not, and, _where?_ The people from the Badlands would be finally in peace certainly.

Demoman was too distracted to even notice when Soldier inhaled his cigar.

“No-no, about us.”

Soldier exhaled the smoke from his mouth, looking at the floor again.

Demoman’s jaw slacked for a second. “ _Oh,_ ” babbleed, still with surprise. “ _Us_ ” he repeated, still assimilating the weight of those few words.

Tavish wondered if they could get back to how things were before, after everything they had passed, after everything both had suffered. Well, they were talking properly like two acquaintances, not like two deadly enemies in a truce, at last. That was a good (re)start.

Demoman beamed. He leaned onwards, catching all of Soldier’s attention. “Let’s... We can take a vacation.”

“ _Oh..._ ” Soldier pouted slightly, moving the cigar downward. A vacation by separate can’t restart a friendship or, anything, not anything at all. Particularly not something as sweet as love from the one of the best, it’s not the best man he had ever know.

“Together. We’ve a lot tae talk about.”

Soldier’s whole face lit up. “That’s an outstanding idea!”

“Of course it is: it’s mine!”

 

"...siempre quedan cenizas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the saying can be translated _"where fire was, ashes remain"_ (i used a slightly different variation tho). it means something like _where once there was love, there is some love left_ , or more exactly that love can revive from a past relationship, past memories, etc.
> 
> it was a pleasure participing in this, and reading all the lovely stuff (also seeing lovely fanart). i think i'll have to edit a little everything (oops), thanks for bearing with me and my poor english ~~and writing~~. btw before i go, sorry for being too lazy to write fantasy for this one. _bye bye!_


End file.
